Over the past few months I have taught my teenagers about living in the Lord. I have taught about living in truth, love, faith and as a family. What I have been lax in teaching about is respect.
I haven’t really focused on it because honestly I didn’t feel that it was my place. Children should learn respect from their parents. It should be given and received. Parents should respect their children and in return children should respect their parents. Disrespect is something that should never be tolerated. Unfortunately disrespect is something that is seen everyday.
I see children disrespecting their parents, teachers, friends, even the ones that they are dating. What is so sad is that many kids don’t even know that they are being disrespectful. Many times it’s brushed aside as “I was just kidding” or “No offense” and what sometimes isn’t realized that there is a little truth to “just kidding” and when someone says “no offense” it is usually something that should be taken offense to.
When kids mock their parents they think they are being funny. I should know I did the same to my parents and it wasn’t until I became a parent myself did I realize how disrespectful I actually was. I listen to my kids and my teenagers and I wonder. Would they like it if they were being talked about in the same way that they talk about their teachers? Would they like it if their children (when they have them) talk about and treat them the way that they treat their parents?
Sometimes though a child has a hard time giving respect when it isn’t given to them. If a father does nothing but yell and curse and call his child names then how can that child respect his or her father? If a mother is more concerned with her own self and ignores the basic needs of her child then how can she demand that she is given respect in return?
As parents it falls on us to teach our children about respect and the only way they learn is if they see us respecting others and them. If I respect my children then they will respect me. Where I struggle is with their father. I don’t have a lot of respect for him but I cannot show that to my children. If my kids hear me talking bad about their father or not respecting what he says then they won’t respect him. The only way that my children are going to learn respect is if they see it shown in their life.
Respect is something that can be learned but it is hard to teach. It isn’t something that you can only talk about. In order for it to be learned it has to be shown. Being respectful is something that everyone should strive to be. We shouldn’t be surprised or shocked when we are shown respect. We shouldn’t have to say thank you when we are given respect it should be given naturally.
The key point is though if you want respect then you have to give respect. Not only do you have to give respect in order to have it in return you have to respect yourself. If you don’t respect your self it is very hard to give others respect and it is even harder to get that respect given to you.
One thing that I have learned is that if I want to be respected then I better give respect. If I want my teenagers to respect what I am trying to teach them then I better respect them and what they have to say. If I want respect at work then I better respect my coworkers and my boss. If I want my children to respect me then I better treat them with respect. I better be willing to listen and not brush them aside. My children also need to see me respecting my own parents. I live in their house and I do need to follow their rules. My children won’t respect them if I don’t. Most importantly I need to respect my self. I need to treat myself with respect. I need to take care of myself and I need to treat myself as though I am worth all the respect in the world.
I really do believe that if we all do that then things will change. If we treat ourselves and others the way that we want to be treated then and only then will we see things they way that they should be.
